fire and dice i've learned a lot this week. i've learned that there usually isn't one right way to approach most things, there are only human ways of doing so. Luckily the result that is going to happen anyway usually happens, only in different ways given the occurence of our free will, and it is our essences that usually predict the outcome. it is what we really need to happen in a unknowing kind of way. therefore the best way to go about life usually entails just being us, and by doing so the things that need to happen usually will do so with the best of timing. if i could only remember this stuff when it matters..
i am looking forward to bunch of things, and this constitutes pretty much all one can ask for i guess. this week is open mic madness smith's olde bar, which is this big 128-act single elimination blowout that lasts all week and has a bunch of "industry types with an extremely refined taste." anyway no matter how the thing goes in terms of the silly notion of art becoming a competitive sport, i'm excited about the cool means of networking, exposure, and just bein out enjoying local original music. so anyway i am planning on jamming out with my clam out.
let me talk about what has been affecting me of late. firstly, i completed the book that helen convincingly motivated me to read, the perks of being a wallflower. and my my my it is such a fine read. this book just kills me, it breaks my heart and it gives it new blood all in the same chapter. it really has made an impression on me and has my brain in this sort of sweet simple contemplative mode that i don't want to leave me. this world is just so big and booming, and this narrator is just so gleaming and unassuming and beautiful that you don't want him to learn too much almost. i wonder if that is what it is like to have a kid. anyway this one should definitely take a bit of your time whenever you happen to be chilling in a manner not unlike a villan.
also i had one of those days where i was thinking, wow, that sieze the day thing, i really want to take it seriously, and so i went out and bought a matinee ticket and inhabited the movie theatre until i had seen all the movies i had wanted to in a row, and needed the best of asprin to heal my beating head. i must say i might need to check my gender, but of the recent films the notebook truly got me right in the ribcage where it mattered. that movie persists in what i still truly believe in, despite my botched efforts of it.
on friday afternoon i had the privelage of going to see mr david garza play an instore at the buckhead borders, and it was fantabulous to see the man in an upclose setting, as it's been awhile. but what was exciting was that he remembered my name and let me play his guitar while he read from a book that was not very good. here we are afterwards soon after talking about feet:
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saturday i played a show in kennisaw the mecca of civilization and it was pretty fun. there were some good people there who had a lot of interest, and there are two of the coolest kids around who are sons of the owners and who help out there. this one 11-year old dude jordan is more precocious than i could imagine, and can talk to me better than most adults i meet, inferring more and knowing more lingo and curious as all getout. that kinda shite wakes me up way more than the coffee.
sunday was the decatur fire fest 2004. it was a benefit event for some building that burned down, and you can tell what a publicized part of it that was, and some of my friends played at it, including josh n eliot. it all culminated and climaxed in some cover band playing the most cliched southern tunes i can think of, and i got to hear john mayer's original cowriter play songs to sunlight makeup-clad gals whispering, "is he playing a john mayer song?" there was an odd mix of people there, so i just had some free food, checked out the well-done art gallery next door, and enjoyed the weather with my friends. josh and i followed this band-aid to some place afterwards but it ended up being a little too much of a sausage-fest for us, so we drove about searching for some nasty fried toxibarfood around there, but to no avail. and the worst news is that trackside tavern no longer has fried pickles. i swear, everything good in this world... anyway, a good waho conversation later, time with one of the people who really matters to me in this world, and i was ready for bed with a smile up my sleeve.

From 3:17 PM

weekness today i saw out the apartment window that i was about to be approached by door-to-door mormons, so i answered the door in only my boxers. i thought it would throw them off and imply to them just how intrusive an unannounced stranger visit can be, if it is not huey long or some long lost love or ed mcmann. but subtlety out that door, they simply asked how i was doing and if i had a moment to hear about god's plan. i told them i would trust them with what to believe for the rest of my life if they would trust me with their booksacks for a day. the negotiations didn't go so well and eventually they went on their way.
i am playing the limerick tonight and i am glad of that. we sent out an e-mail about it at 5 in the afternoon and so i believe i will have a crowd of those who check their e-mail every twenty minutes, and so i will be sure to play the star trek theme song and selections from office space, maybe damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
i finished out my visit in baton rouge, and was so glad i got to hang out awhile, see my family. i keep forgetting to insist that my dad take out the projecter and all the old slides and luminate old brown tiny versions of us all onto the wall like he used to. it would be amazing and so much more meaningful than the cliched one-liners that ravel up into a string of feelgood mindlessness that happen to grace the network sitcom writers' imaginations that week. anyway i did a lot of late night walking around my neighborhood with the moon over me trying to get good clarity of mind and/or cellphone reception. me and the moon are friends these days.
i hopped on thru the birm-o-ham on thurs and played at metro bistro, andit was fine after we spent about 20 minutes being mcgyver making the p.a. get power with a piece of gum and a sefety pin. it was one of those gigs where i was met with absent stares when i asked the clientelle to untuck their pinpoint oxfords, relax a little, but i guess judging from the conviction which the volume of their conversations implied, they didn't really want to. the song-casting was well worth it tho because of the presence of a few people i really like, namely hugh, francesca, and taylor at the end. there was time for door prizes and francesca won a bag of ground starbuckster's italian roast.
i continued on late in the eve to the 404, and the waffle house mama put an extra patty into my hamburger. right place, right time. or maybe right person. i never know.
friday nite was david mead at the red light cafe, and i must say how fantastic he was. he was very fantastic.
i actually just recieved in the mail my new digital videocamera acquired from a little auctioning system they call ebay, and before i could become american beauty death boy peering over dead crows and such i was given the go-ahead to tape the mead show. anyway i'm excited to see how that footage came out. i hit the town that night with melanie and we ended up in some strange room in the highlands hanging with the josh n eliot crew under low-lighting huge grapes above us. melanie is a sensation with her smile and grace.
wonder-worker of the music community robin was in town surrounding the mead show, staying in a ritzy downtown hotel room, and we got to meet up a bunch and discuss plans to get some danielness out to the masses, so that was tres exciting. we went to the red light cafe the following eve to see some nashville folks light up the stage with good-natured right-on musicality. and late night sandwiches and damien rice b-sides against knowing ole peachtree street are a welcome friend to me.
i went to the dog park with mariel to find just how nice the subculture of dog-owner conversation can be when there is a place for it. luckily there were not many best in show moments, and it was a beautiful version of how the little tiny cues from strangers interacting around the subject of sunday piedmont park dog excursions are just as interesting as the behaviors of dogs themselves, neither of which i really get a bunch of normally.
that eve i went on up to cumming and hung out with the hipsters along that main stretch off exit 14. it was a grand night of people soaking up the end of the summer because they know that soon they will be in tiny spaces again, memorizing facts and eating off of meal plans.
as david sang the other nite, 'summer's almost over again...'

From 6:12 PM

succour i feel as though everything around me is as fickle and unpredictable as a pound dog.
i've had quite a week; this week has been like a train. it has been full speed ahead on its own rails without stops irregardless of my feeling, my motions, my will, my silent yells.
there can be so much gained by decision, but there can be so much lost by the same. i think the key is making decisions when it is exactly the right time to.
i am for the moment tired of reaching out. i am weary and fumbling, and i feel it is now time for me to be still and see what wants to source itself and reach back to me.
i have sung so many times and so many places and for so many people the lyrics to all you got to do, but i know now that i more than ever live inside them, know what they mean, and want to insist on them for myself.
i wish people knew the right reasons for the virtue of honesty. honesty entails respect, consideration. fortunately it is a two-way street.
i feel pushed to my limits. i feel endangered. i feel artistery in a world of consumerism is yelling in a bottle. i feel sunk in the mud. i am like that crazy state of laughing that pulls you back from falling over the edge. i feel invisible. but i really just want to feel me.
i will write week details later i think but right now i believe i will seek slumber.

From 3:40 AM

i saw you standing alone... you know that every now and again in a blue moon when you end up in a house that somehow by all the right magnetisms of the universe contains everything perfect and essential to make a super-deluxe-mega-sandwich? first you find some really wonderful fresh sliced deli meat and you look over and see some really nice leafy greens other than iceberg, and in the drawer there happens to be some damn good cheese and so then you start looking for all sorts of things to slice up and put in there like onions, tomatoes, black olives, and whatnot and you reach over to the counter and wrap it all in the tasty buttery wheat soft pita bread that was just bought, but not before you slap on all the right condiments and some italian dressing and then shake on some tony's cajun seasoning to give it that right umpf...
well today at my parents' house was that day for me. and when i think about it, a sandwich is usually a thing that gets made to make do, something that gets eaten just as fast as it is made, and then you go back to doing whatever you were gonna do and don't think twice about it, right? but when you have all the right ingredients and they're all fresh and able to come together in one place, the sandwich can become one of those meals that you can take your time and savour, that you can sit back and devour and say, oh yes.. now that was a _really good_ sandwich.
but it really isn't one thing that makes it soar like that. the thing that gives the great american sandwich that kind of strength is the fact that it is comprised of so many different things... tastes and flavors and textures all coming together in one big perfect bite that really has complexity, has sophistication, and is able to be savoured.
last night was the second day of my high school reunion mostly for which i came down here, and while there were so many people coming together in one big place from so many different places and perspectives and professions, at least for me the situation did not create the great american sandwich. i don't really know what i was expecting from a gap of us all having enough life experience to develop ourselves and learn what it means to be our own vessels in the world for a bit, but really it's amazing to me how very little changes once everything changes. i pretty much went around and had the catchup convo with virtually everybody, but after a certain gap of time had passed, it seemed as though there were the same 5 people who were actually interested in what i had to say that did back then, and the same little standaround groups took their form just like at lunch or at the homecoming dance. add girls to the mix and it kinda gets worse. there are impressions to be made and agenda to be met, and most semblances of openness, positive reinforcement, and conversation that serves the purpose of really hearing people out are thru the door. i guess i just thought that because we all had the same experience together for four years, i dunno, it would mean something beyond a hottest wife contest paired with those circles of 6 people that i never seem to have the patience for. by the end i was ready to take my newly aquired lawyer business card from the d.c. area and slice somebody with it in true grosse point blank fashion and dispose of them where nobody would notice, since nobody notices anybody's disappearance round there anyway.
but i had a good time. wanted to jam with the "soul" band but they didn't know any prince. wanted to wear something comfortable but i forgot about the dress code. and i wanted to play some handball in the gym like we all wanted to deep inside, but the reunion game of choice was golf. i forgot we can only expend about 40 calories a night nowadays, but it's ok because everyone's on low carb diets that replace inactivity with food-group deprivation. cool.
baton rouge seems unusually quiet. maybe the phonecalls and nuances of busiment and sounds of bustling streets are getting soaked up in the thick air of equator-like humidity down here these days but i feel myself concerned about the restless. where is everyone?
i came down here after a true soaring fit of delerium where i stayed awake for like 24 hours because i played the show at eddie's, did the proper afterpartying and goofing off, and then making the trip in the early hours to midday here in b.r. the show was off the hook because it was a big ole hoopla of intensity driven by a room filled with good people basking in live musique. i played my set and the crowd was kind enough to keep their loud applause rolling for me to do an encore, and that was pretty much all it took to make me feel really fabulous. i thrived from that energy. but then add the josh n eliot set where they played wonderfully and i got to jump in up there and play bass with them for some tunes in key moments of the set, and it was a true and pure and good night. i melted into the aftertalk like warm sucrose, and was met with goodness of heart.
i received in the mail down here the gift of true prolific mastery of song in the new david garza box set, a strange mess of flowers. 4 cds each with 18 songs the mass public hasn't heard and a dvd with no titles or chapters or credits just intimate performances framed by documentary and glimpses into the master's road. i now know why david is my songwriting hero. not only is simply reading the libretto better than most any books of poetry you could acquire, but the tunes themselves, even his damn unreleased b-sides, are more diverse and inventive and fresh than the bulk of the music i come across in my endless search. david has a sweet little tejano gypsy lone smiling tumbleweed energy, a romanticism, a sanctification of rock and roll, a perfect combination of musical sophistication with just the right simplicity, and he trims the fat just enough to where every song moves you and leaves you wanting more. he is such a master of simile and meter and simple irony that it kills me. you should get this one if you want something real.
i'll be down here for a bit more trying to find a bit more of what i came here for and then the birm is thursday night. can't wait to see my b'ham bretherin.

From 3:04 AM

D's Journal